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- ESSAY, Page 82Reflections on 28 Flavors
-
-
- By Otto Friedrich
-
-
- It is strange how often business enterprises that seem a
- basic part of American life just fade away, and how soon one
- forgets that they were ever there. Yes, like Packards and
- Studebakers (or convertibles with rumble seats). Or getting
- one's daughter shoes at Best's, until she grew old enough for
- cashmeres from Peck & Peck . . . Or trying to recall the
- Burma-Shave signs that used to enliven those long trips before
- most people ever took airplanes. TO STEAL/ A KISS/ HE HAD THE
- KNACK/ BUT LACKED THE CHEEK/ TO GET ONE BACK/ BURMA-SHAVE.
-
- Imagine, if you can, living someday in an America where
- nobody under the age of 40 can remember names like Pepsi-Cola
- or Ford or Howard Johnson's. Impossible! So on a drive from New
- York City to Washington not long ago, it seemed the most natural
- thing in the world to stop for lunch at the next Howard
- Johnson's. A hot dog and some French fries and a dish of
- maple-walnut ice cream. That was what one had been doing on the
- superhighway to Washington ever since it was built back at the
- dawn of the Republic. But when that familiar orange roof loomed
- up out of the rain near Wilmington, Del., it turned out that the
- orange roof covered only a Howard Johnson motor lodge and the
- adjoining restaurant called itself Bob's Big Boy. It would be
- uncharitable to criticize a Big Boy restaurant for not being a
- Howard Johnson's, but when one has been looking forward to a
- Howard Johnson's hot dog and a dish of Howard Johnson's maple
- walnut, anything that Big Boy has to offer is, well, not the
- same. And if one inquires politely how far down the superhighway
- one must go to find the next Howard Johnson's restaurant, the
- polite answer is that there aren't any there anymore.
-
- And so another piece of one's childhood is consigned to
- oblivion. The reason those hot dogs linger so deliciously in
- the memory is not the hot dogs themselves, actually, but the
- toasted buns they came in, and the yellow pseudobuttery glop
- that reduced the toasted buns to toasted mush, and the elongated
- white cardboard containers that held the toasted mush so that
- one could make a game of trying to gnaw on the hot-dog mush
- without getting one's hands and face entirely covered with the
- dripping glop -- a game that, to one's parents' despair, one
- invariably lost.
-
- But that was just an appetizer to the prospect of a Howard
- Johnson's ice-cream cone containing one of the famous 28
- flavors. Chocolate or coffee (or maple walnut) might be good
- enough for parents, but if one was an inquisitive and
- competitive boy with a mania for collecting things, the obvious
- challenge was to eat all 28 flavors. This was not so easy as it
- might seem, for not all Howard Johnson's restaurants carried all
- 28 flavors. Nor was it as pleasant as it might seem either, for
- there were flavors like ginger that had very little reason to
- exist except to be one of the magical 28. But there were always
- the marvelous cones, for Howard Johnson's cones were just about
- the only ones that stayed crisp and tasty no matter how long one
- spent lapping the ice cream down into the bottom, trying to make
- it last longer than anyone else's cone. Mon Dieu, tell Marcel
- Proust that madeleines are not made anymore.
-
- But is it really possible that Howard Johnson's simply
- disappeared, and without anyone saying farewell? No, the
- reality is more interesting. From the day in 1928 when Howard
- D. Johnson opened his first roadside stand, in Wollaston, Mass.,
- to sell hot dogs and a rich chocolate ice cream of his own
- formulation (16% butterfat), the next half-century was largely
- a story of growth and profit. But that success inevitably
- brought increased competition from all kinds of newcomers, like
- McDonald's, and the gas shortages of the 1970s hurt all roadside
- businesses considerably. There were also some who claimed that
- baby-boom customers preferred zippy novelties like, say,
- tacoburgers. So when Howard B. Johnson, son of the founder, got
- an offer in 1979 from a British conglomerate named Imperial
- Group Ltd., he was happy to sell an empire that included 1,040
- restaurants (about a quarter of them locally franchised,) plus
- 520 motor lodges for a tidy $630 million. But the deal did not
- bring lasting happiness to the Britons, and in 1985 they sold
- Howard Johnson's to the Marriott Corp. Marriott, which owns
- Bob's Big Boys, kept only about 400-odd company-owned Howard
- Johnson's restaurants, which magically began turning into Bob's
- Big Boy restaurants, and sold off the bulk of the empire to
- Prime Motor Inns Inc.
-
- Marriott has little interest in Howard Johnson's
- traditions. It prefers its own traditions, as exemplified by the
- name of co-founder Alice Marriott. Last June it began giving
- Bob's Big Boys in San Diego the new name of Allie's. "The
- intention, long term," says a company spokesman, "is to convert
- all Bob's Big Boys and Howard Johnson's to Allie's." While this
- was going on, however, some of the old-timers who had obtained
- their Howard Johnson's franchises from old Howard Johnson
- himself were fretting about being sold from conglomerate to
- conglomerate. So they hired onetime Attorney General Griffin
- Bell to lead them into battle.
-
- This never came to court but came instead to an agreement
- in which Marriott and Prime each put up $500,000 to enable as
- many as 90 old-timers to incorporate in 1986 as Franchise
- Associates, Inc. A year later, 54 of the licensees actually
- bought stock in the new company. FAI now includes 137
- individually owned Howard Johnson's restaurants in 26 states,
- a far cry from the 1,040 of yesteryear, but still . . . And
- although they don't all have all 28 flavors of Howard Johnson's
- ice cream, an FAI spokesman admits, they all have at least 18.
- Which indicates that if we can't preserve all the riches of the
- past in this forgetful and conglomerate age, we can, with a
- certain determination and a certain effort, preserve at least
- some of them. Burma-Shave.
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